


Will to be Well (The Psychosomatic Remix)

by Redrikki



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Acupuncture, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-16 07:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redrikki/pseuds/Redrikki
Summary: Studies on the efficacy of acupuncture are inconclusive but, if River believes hard enough, learning the art might make her better.





	Will to be Well (The Psychosomatic Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Spiralleds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiralleds/gifts).
  * Inspired by [If I Could Will You Whole](https://archiveofourown.org/works/76711) by [Spiralleds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiralleds/pseuds/Spiralleds). 



River traced the lines of the meridians on Inara’s zhēn biān charts. A needle here relieves pain there, restores balance to the inner verse. Foot bone connected to the leg bone connected to the gallbladder through nerves and blood and pseudoscience. 

“Moonbrained. Excess of yin.” A few needles along the Yangming Stomach Channel of Foot should clear that right up. River looked sharply at Inara. “The efficacy of zhēn biān is dubious.”

“Oh?” Inara poured the tea, a golden stream into delicate porcelain. Her client set. No chipped galley mugs for River. They sat at the low table in Inara’s shuttle. River accepted her teacup. Served but not serviced. Why was she here?

She took a polite sip. “Studies. Zhēn biān is moderately more effective than sham zhēn biān for temporary pain relief. Comparable to placebo for underlying causes.”

Inara blinked, taken aback. “I see.” She drank as she tried to process. “So,” she said slowly, “what you’re saying is that zhēn biān doesn’t actually cure anything. It’s been around for thousands of years and people do improve. How is that possible?

River shook her head. It was more complicated than that. Schrödinger's cure. It worked and it didn’t. “People believe. Tricks them into fixing themselves.” Shepard had something like that once. His bible was broken and illogical, but it helped him be a better man.

Inara set her cup down. “Simon and I had discussed zhēn biān as a way to help you, but—”

“No! They stuck needles in my head. Poked holes and let the voices in. Can your needles plug them up? Make them stop? They won’t stop.” Her words ran like water over stones, tumbling and tripping over themselves. She ground her fists into temples to block out the noise. “Make them stop!”

A hand on her arm made her jump. It was just Inara, but River was already on her feet. Her eyes darted around the shuttle. Zhēn biān book on the table, but no needles. Lying in wait, behind the draperies, in drawers. River backed toward the door. “No more poking. No more proving. No more poison!” Safety was just foot away and River turned to run.

“River wait!” Inara’s voice caught her at the threshold. “You misunderstand me.” River turned. “I don’t want to use zhēn biān on you. I want to teach it.”

River cocked her head. There were no lies under Inara’s words, but they didn’t make sense. “I do the poking?” She inched back into the room.

“Exactly.” Inara smiled gently. “They used needles to hurt you. I thought teaching you to heal with them might help even the score.” 

She patted the couch beside her and River bit her lip. She should run, safety was just over her shoulder, but she stepped closer instead. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. River slipped back into her seat beside Inara. How many lives did she have left?

The zhēn biān book was still open to the page for the meridian of the stomach. She wished it could fix her, fill in the holes and plaster over the cracks. River couldn’t flow backwards, couldn’t be the girl Simon remembered. 

“It doesn’t work,” she said sadly.

Inara’s lips twisted wryly. “Not as a cure, apparently, but it does help with pain.”

“If you believe in it.”

Inara studied her over the rim of her teacup. “Do you?”

River traced the lines of the chart. Nearly three thousand years, and no one knew how it worked. A mystery. Just like her. “I want to.”

“Then let’s get started.”

*****

River bounced on the balls of her feet, waiting. Her first patient. It was like the night before a recital. She knew all the steps and her feet wanted to dance. River had read the books. The Yellow Emperor’s secrets were all in her head, but she had yet to wield a needle.

Inara smiled at her as she came in and then stepped aside to make room for Jayne. He pulled to a halt at the sight of River. “What’s she doing here?”

“River is my apprentice.” Inara tried to herd the man further into the shuttle without actually touching him. 

Jayne gave River a good looking over, his gaze tugging at her clothes. Jayne’s thoughts leaked from his eyes. He’d do her, but he was of a mind Inara’s usual clientele was a bit more discerning. “You mean you’re teaching her to—” He gave the air a thrust. 

“I’m teaching her the art of zhēn biān.” Inara rolled her eyes, her impatience waring with disgust. 

“ _Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung!_ We’re giving her sharp things now?”

River laughed, swishing her skirt like a school girl. “I don’t need a weapon, silly. Not when I can kill you with my mind.”

Jayne gulped nervously, but Inara just sighed. “No one is killing anyone.” She shot River a quelling look. “This is a place of healing.” She favored Jayne with her most professional of smiles. “Now, what exactly is the trouble?”

“Got this pain,” Jayne said, rubbing his neck. “Doc said we was low on painkillers, but your zhēn biān would set me to rights.”

“Stick out your tongue,” River demanded, stepping in to his personal space. 

He glanced nervously at Inara. “Go ahead,” she said with an encouraging nod. “It’s part of the diagnostic process.”

“Ahhhhh.” Jayne stuck out his tongue and River made a show of studying it. It looked like a tongue. His pulse felt like a pulse. They told her nothing, but the ritual of diagnosis was important. It built authority and belief, like lab coats and badges. She studied the whites of his eyes, catching glimpses of the secrets in them. 

“Excess of yang,” River declared, as pompous as any doctor. “We shall use the Taiyang Small Intestine Channel of Hand.”  
“Very good.” Inara bowed her head to hide her amusement, but the laugh was in her voice. “Why don’t you take off your shirt and sit on the bed,” she suggested to Jayne once she got herself under control. “I’ll get the needles.”

Jayne dumped his shirt on the floor, the slob, and flung himself onto the bed like a child. He bounced experimentally and smirked.

Inara brought out her jade zhēn biān needles and spread the set out on the table. Some long, some short, all as sharp as adder’s teeth and as delicate as butterfly wings. River tensed, her breath coming faster. She had read all the theory, but staring them down was harder than she’d thought. She wanted to run, but couldn’t. Frozen. Excess of yin. 

“You can do this, _meimei_ ,” Inara whispered and gave River’s hand a squeeze.

She could do this. She reached for the needles. River’s fingers hovered over, but she couldn’t make them touch. Snakes could smell fear, could taste it. The needles reached for her, hungry for a bite. Inara encouraged her with her eyes. River knew the steps, knew the lines, but she was too paralyzed to move. 

“What’s the hold up here? You gonna stick me, or what?”

River looked up sharply. “You believe this will work?”

“Course I believe. Ain’t that the gorram point?”

It all came back to belief. It brought healing to the sick and strength in defiance of logic. River squeezed her eyes shut. What did she believe? She believed in Simon and the crew and _Serenity_. She believed in the physics of love and space. She believed she she was a master of the ancient art of zhēn biān and no _go tsao de_ needles were going to ruin that. River took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and took up her tools. Time to set the verse to rights.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [victoria_p](http://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/pseuds/victoria_p) for the beta. 
> 
> Glossary of terms:  
> zhēn biān - Ancient form of acupuncture using stone needles  
> wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung - Mother of god and all her wacky nephews  
> meimei - little sister  
> go tsao de - dog humping
> 
> Notes on acupuncture:  
> The practice of acupuncture originated somewhere in China, although no one is sure how long ago. It was first formally codified in _The Yellow Emperor's Classic of Internal Medicine_ around 100 b.c.e. My assessment of it's efficacy is based on the results of recent studies. Due to the age of the practice, I'm totally using this as my entry for "archaic medical treatment" on my [hurt/comfort bingo card](http://hc-bingo.dreamwidth.org/145157.html?thread=945669).


End file.
